I Like it Hot! Hot! Hot!

A most charming evening was had last night by all in atten- dance. Meeting up at Taipei Main Station, a group of my closest friends took the red line, caught a bus transfer, and hiked it up the mountainside of Yangminshan in the evening. Yangminshan is known for many things- breathtaking views, clean air, vigorous mountain trails, and most importantly (and incidentally, the purpose of our trip that evening) the hot springs.

We went to Hot Spring Lane where many bubbling baths were awaiting our future plans for relaxation. After comparing a few of the spas, we decided on a nice little place nestled into the side of a hill. Originally, the owner thought we wanted the public springs, which were nice. Only one thing- you had to be naked. Being the conservative Bostonian that I am, this option wasn't entirely appealing, so when we toured the public springs and there were plenty of Taiwanese au natural, I voted for the private baths where bathing suits could be (and would be) worn. Also, the publics were separated male/female, and we were a mixed group that wanted to be together.

We rented out two rooms adjacent to one another and let the hot springs flow at full force. Rich in iron and other healing minerals, there was nothing more soothing than a calming soak in the mountains' lava boiled water sources. Pruned fingers aside, the positive effects were calming and all around delightful. Every last toxin in me was sweat out within minutes.

Unbeknownst to me, all those toxins were about to reenter my body before I would even step out of the resort.

When the majority of us had finished up, dried off, and dressed, we returned outside to the lobby where there was a bar. The man who welcomed us was singing some interesting Taiwanese tunes. But more importantly, in front of him were twelve conspicuously placed pints of Taiwan beer. "That's strange," I thought to myself. "I wonder what those are for."

As we were about to leave, I saw the singer turn to our group and start speaking Chinese. Not knowing what he was saying, I turned to one of my Taiwanese friends for a translation. "He's saying those are for a beer drinking contest. Guess what Michael, you're playing!" That was an interesting turn of events.

But behold, the events grew more interesting as straws were laid out in front of the glasses. Now my friend was saying, "You have to drink three pints of beer with the straw." A straw. Right. OK. Three more Taiwanese men approached the table making it a stiff competition of four. I had to represent America on this one, all by myself. The race was off. One other gent and I made it through our first two beers well before anyone else, so we took a short break to allow the others to catch up. Once the final person caught up, we went for the last beer. Gulping, sucking, and swallowing, that pint of beer was mixing with the other two pints just consumed in a matter of a few seconds. I glanced over at my competition- he was ahead of me. I thought to myself, how could he go that fast? Well, the answer is, he couldn't. About half way through the drink all the beer that he took in decided it wanted to go back out, spewing all over the floor and on my foot. It didn't matter, as this gave me the edge I needed to clinch the title of Champion.

As a prize, I won a bottle of rice wine, four free tickets to use the spa, and a three hundred dollar gift certificate to use at the restaurant. I think this could be a nice date sometime!

Well, as you can imagine- at the the spa I became very dehydrated so those three beers had a pretty swift and significant effect. It was a fantastic ride home, and for dinner we went to the Taiwan Beer Bar for some more frosty refreshments and traditional Taiwanese chow.

I am aware that most of my posts, recently, have been about mass consumption of alcohol. I do not endorse this kind of abuse at all. But it was my cousin Stevie, who was here in a Taiwan not too long ago, that warned me I had to bring my drinking cap along. Well, I have since learned that the Taiwanese themselves don't drink much, but man do they love to buy drinks for other people. Especially foreigners like me. Gambe! (Or, as we say, "Bottoms up!")

So with that, I say farewell from your detoxified, intoxicated, aquatic master of the mountainous hot springs, Michael.