A Few Gentle Reminders

After a certain amount of time living abroad, you acclimate to your bizarre surroundings. The large, burping women on the subway don't offend you and the dare devil scooter-men racing along the sidewalks don't set your heart to over drive. In fact, as much as it scares me to say it, I am beginning to feel at home in Taiwan.

For instance, my Chinese is no where near the level it should be for having lived here nine months. But in all honesty, it's not terrible for someone who hasn't been taking Chinese classes. I can go to stores and inquire or bargain about prices. I can ask for no sugar in several types of tea. I can even hold easy conversations about family, hobbies, and relationships. I have a great deal of work to do, but it is satisfying to know when push comes to shove, I can get what I want in Taiwan's native (or is it psued0-imperial?) language.

But as comfortable as I may feel, there are times when I am kindly rejected from my serenity and spat back onto the unforgiving pavement of reality. And that reality is simply this- I am still in Taiwan, and Taiwan is not America.

About two weeks ago, I briefly stepped away from my school to order some tea. As soon as I had emerged through the front door, I happened upon two older gentleman clearly displeased with one another. Scowls turned to verbal assaults which then in turn went to punches thrown at each other. I quickly stepped to the side as these two men took turns walloping one other with their fists. At this point, a group of spectators formed around the onlookers with beaming curiosity. Fighting and wrestling through the large crowd, the fight broke out onto the street with on-coming traffic screeching to a halt or swerving to miss them.

I turned to an onlooker, who happened to be the lao ban, or shopkeeper, of the store in front of which they were fighting, and asked whether or not we should call the police. She looked at me and shook her head and that was that. As a foreigner who could do little more than ask these two men if they would like their noodles hot or cold, I could not interfere in their feuding. Realizing this, I left the scene and went about buying that tea which brought me outside in the first place.

I walked a short distance down the road to my usual haunt- Kool Tea- flirted with the young, attractive lady who always works there, paid for my tea and began my walk back to the school. All in all, this formulaic process took only five minutes or so. When I got back to the store where the fight had broken out, I was greeted by a very interesting surprise. Nobody had bothered to call the police, because I knew there was a police station only a two minute walk down the road. Instead, there were two young girls separating these two ogres apart.

I sat down with my student after this episode and told him that in the United States, if a fight were to break out in a crowd of people, the law enforcement would be on it very quickly. My student smiled and said, "Not here!" I asked if it had anything to do with shame culture versus guilt culture, or saving face, or managing disputes independently, or cultural differences concerning fighting. My 16 year old student informed me that it was none of those things. "The reason no one called the police," he said, "is because the police are cowards! They would be afraid to do anything!"

My second parable of nine month culture shock comes in the form of weather. In New England, there is no such thing as spring. One day it is freezing and snowing, the next it is sunny and warm. Here, that phenomenon appears to be the same, but at a higher extreme. Last weekend, I went to bed in layers of pajamas covered in layers of blankets. The next night I was practically naked due to the 85 degree scorching heat and humidity. Naturally, there is a difference between a May summer and a July summer. In one weekend, thought, it seemed as if we jumped from March to August in a single sleep.

The citizens of Taipei also noticed this unusual hot spell and decided to join me for a hike on Sunday- all two and a half million of them. Interested in hiking and hot springs, I made my way to Yangmingshan National Park and was greeted by stop and go traffic the entire way. I swear that all the traffic problems of Taipei were transplanted onto the mountain that day as people decided to park their cars on the side of the road and walk up the mountain because they would get there faster. This, of course, did not improve driving conditions. But once the main crowds were left behind and I made my way to more remote locations in the park, I was at once greeted by fresh air, stinky sulfur fumes, and vast mountain landscapes. I returned to Beitou where I decided to veer away from the resorts and go for the public hot spring experience this time. Not as relaxing, but equally entertaining, these springs are a great location for friends of both sexes to relax, relate, and enjoy the mystic powers of the hot spring.

And before I sign off this time, I have exciting news for all of you. Inspired by my daring adventures in The Philippines, I have booked my next vacation. From June 15th to June 30th, I will be backpacking, scuba diving, and experiencing the splendors, riches, and culinary delicacies of South East Asia's favorite travel destination- Thailand. Of course, more on that trip in a few months.

So with open and sincere understanding of where I am, your existentially cognizant, socially perceptive, and culturally attuned lost, little boy of Taipei, Michael.