A Few Suggestions of the Enticing Sort

I have survived and, perhaps, enjoyed my first week in Taiwan. On second thought, strike the perhaps and replace it with a certainly. I have certainly enjoyed my first week in Taiwan. The apartment hunt proved to be strait forward and simple and by Tuesday I will be living with an Australian and a Canadian in the heart of Taipei. I smell a sitcom!

I have invited many of you to visit me here and to those who have not received an invitation, there was probably a reason for that. However, if in your case it was merely a simple mistake, I offer you an invitation to visit me in this fair city. However, I must warn you the life here is far different from the American life you are undoubtedly use to. Therefore, I will provide you with this list of simple observations, consisting of nine components to be precise, that I have made about Taipei. I hope these idiosyncrasies will guide you in deciding on whether or not to make the 20 hour plane ride to visit me.

• Hold on to your receipts in Taiwan! For each purchase you make, you are given a receipt that doubles as a lottery ticket. You can win up to NT$2,000,000 or US$60,000! Ingenious!
• In Taiwan, I am finally tall.
• When you ask a question in English and someone answers "yes", don't automatically assume they understood what you said.
• In Taiwan, Chinese Checkers is just called Checkers.
• Is there anything more distressing than a foreign toilet? For the most part, Taiwan's restrooms are up to modern standards, beating out those plumbing affronts to God in France and Italy. Two points of interest on this subject. 1) Watch out for toilets predating 1990. These are called squatters. Although I have never seen one, I am told your back is to the door and its name will suffice as to the mechanics of how it works. 2) Toilet paper is not to be flushed away, but instead to be disposed of in a rubbish bin next to the toilet. It is because of this fact that I try to hold it for as long as possible.
• 7/11 and Air conditioning are ways of life.
• If you don't ask what you're eating, whole new food possibilities open up!
• A 22 year old and a 37 year old look exactly the same age- 18 years old. Whoops! Funny story...
• If you take the red line to the very last stop, outside of the city and along the north coast, down a side street and along a pier, then even there you will find a Dunkin' Donuts!

The city is phenomenal and all that jazz, but you didn't sign online to hear me praise the city. For now, all that will suffice is for you to know that I am happy and working my tail off during training. In the coming weeks, I will begin teaching my first class and their minds will be mine for the moulding. Excellent. I am thinking of making a list of English names for them to choose from consisting of outrageous suggestions. Some ideas: Gwenytrude, Theophilus Parsons, Mike Rotch, Abraham Linconlogs, Elvis, and Paris Hilton. If you have any ideas for the name list, please post a comment.

Oh, and apparently, Presidents enjoy eating at obscure restaurants in Taiwan. Today, I was at a fried ice cream stand and it had a big picture of Jimmy Carter on it.

Until next time, your diabolically scheming and tirelessly romantic traveller extraordinaire from the steaming island of Taiwan, Michael.