An Aesthetic Kind of Life

In Taiwan, most of the time when you are walking down the road, you start humming the Indiana Jones theme song to yourself. You don't mean to do it, but for some reason, you just become him. Each turn is a new adventure, each crossroad determines your destiny, every step could be your last. And as any Indy enthusiast would do in my position, I took off to locate the hidden temples in Taiwan.

My first stop was the Shandao Temple. This looked like a big financial building, so I got back on the subway and continued on.

The next temple on my list was the Confucius Temple. Weary of booby traps and snakes, I cautiously proceeded into the temple. (Man do I hate snakes. I mean Indiana Jones. Indiana Jones hates snakes.) I turned the first corner careful not to step into the light (because every good archaeologist knows that rays of light are extremely dangerous), and came across a sign that said "Office and Souvenir Shop." Hardly! I am sure the Nazis were probably hiding out in there, preying on unsuspecting archaeologists like myself.

I eventually entered into the main temple area, virtually unscathed. Some locals were already inside perhaps doing some sacrificial rite? It was an odd ritual for they were sitting at a table drinking a hot beverage. Probably the blood of their previous sacrifice. I hid in the corner so I would not be detected. As these locals began to come and go, I made my way around to the front of the shrine (of the silver monkey, for all you legends fans out there), and peered inside. Beautiful architecture lined the walls of this magnificent temple. It had an octagonal ceiling and bats were painted at each corner to symbolize good luck. Gold encased much of the ornamentation and a thick incense burned within the shrine. And lo and behold!, there in the center of this precious temple were beautiful treasures dedicated to the ancient sage himself. "Those belong in a museum!" I thought to myself. But unfortunately, there was a do not enter sign and an easily overcommable fence blocking the way. Drat, my plans were foiled once again! But my troubles had only begun to materials for I had been spotted by the locals. They began speaking but their tongue was alien to me. Suddenly drums began to bang and giant stone boulder came rolling straight for me. I booked it to the exit and leaped for safety. Somehow the boulder disappeared and I escaped with my life, just barely.

The third temple at which I arrived at wall the Padao Temple and was across the street from the Confucius temple.

This temple had even more flowery ornamentation and the most beautiful architecture imaginable. No close encounters here, thankfully.

Speaking of Museums, Taiwan boasts the worlds largest collection of Chinese artwork. At the National Palace Museum, the collection is so vast that it would take twelve years for them to rotate through every piece of artwork they have. As an archaeologist, I thought I would find more artifact enthusiasts at this National Palace, so I went to take a look. And it's a good thing I did, too, because this museum was beyond words. I took a 1.5 hour guided tour around the museum and saw everything from priceless jade jewelry dating back to the neolithic era, to astounding porcelain vases and carvings from all throughout China's long history. Some carvings were so intricate and detailed, your mouth literally dropped. One artist fashioned a boat scene with eight men on board out of an olive pit while another carved his ivory "lunch box" so thinly it resembled lace. In my estimation, there is no finer collection of fine arts in the world. Perhaps, now, I can retire. And so I shall. From your whip crackin' danger seeking Indian Jones wanna-be from the subtropical island in the pacific, Michael.