A City under Siege

It was 4:30 PM on Friday evening. An urgent letter was sent out by the Head Office to all the schools- Classes tonight and tomorrow will be canceled due to the impending typhoon. Typhoons are hurricanes in Southeast Asia, making their equivalent of a snow day, you guessed it, a typhoon day. With winds estimated to be as fast as 100 mph, and a square mileage exceeding the size of this country by two or three times, we were in for one big typhoon.

So, as any foreigners would do in their first typhoon, we all gathered together to put back a few beers and watch the show together! 9:00 PM and we had gathered nicely with our crew. 10 PM came and went without a sign of rain. So, we kept on drinking. 11 PM came along, and while the ground was dry outside, the same could not be said for us. We kept waiting for the storm, but the storm never came. And as we waited, we drank more, and as we drank more, we became more impatient for the storm. Finally, about 2 AM, still no sign of the storm, we had drunk all our beer and began to notice a slight discomfort in our stomach region. Clearly, we were hungry. It was 2 AM on the eve of a typhoon and we needed nourishment. What would be open? Suddenly, an idea flashed before our eyes. We looked each other over, and with a smile, we knew the only solution would be bagels and breakfast sandwiches from our 24 hour bagel store (which has already provided us plenty of late night/early morning snacks before). We called ahead and with luck, they were open. Bravery feeds the brave. We piled into a cab and arrived at the late night delicatessen over joyed to see its bright lights and packed booths. We ordered our fair share of bagels and cheesy fries and toasted to the typhoon, if it should actually decide to show up.

The next morning, yes, it did decide to show up by the way. With pounding rain and hustling wind, this city of mine went through one good beating! So in case you should ever find yourself in a similar situation, here are five simple rules on how to survive a typhoon. Survivor man, style, never Bear Grylls.

1. Don't bring an umbrella. The rain comes at you from all four directions so please give up on staying dry.




2. Watch for falling palm trees. The leaves may give you a paper cut.




3. Stay inside and drink lots of beer. Eat lots of food. Watch lots of movies. Sleep. Repeat.




4. Do not go on top of your apartment's roof because you will probably be blown over the side. Trust me on this one, I speak from experience.




5. Nothing is open except for 7/11, McDonald's (and similar fast food varieties), Cafes, and random dumpling stores. There are only two buses running in the city, but the MRT is good to go. But that is underground, which, I suppose, is cheating.

May these guidelines protect you in your darkest hour and move you subtly to a higher, more euphoric state. So with that, I bid you a most pleasant farewell from your soaking wet and typhoon 2007 survivor from a blown around and battered little island in the Pacific, Michael.

And by the way, my friend's apartment, at which I stayed during the pre-hours of the typhoon, had bits of his roof blown away. My apartment, however, survived the storm unscathed.