A Very Merry Unbirthday

It's official! I celebrated the longest birthday of my life: 36 hours. I have to thank time differences for this one. You see, in Taiwan, when it turned 12 midnight on September 10, it was still 12 noon on September 9 in Boston, my home town. So, when it turned 12 midnight on September 11 in Taiwan, I still had another twelve hours of celebration to do in Boston. Ergo, a 36 hour birthday.

My birthday gift from the company was a six day work week. On my birthday I was on stand-by and got called in to work. This was no problem because I actually enjoy going to work! It's once I'm there that's the problem! Just kidding, I love this job. But anyways, when they called me, I went to the bathroom and turned on the shower to warm it up. At this time, a friend called to wish me a happy birthday. I answered the phone, we spoke a minute, and then hung up. However, when I returned to the shower, I forgot it was me who turned the water on. So, logically, I assumed someone else was in there. So I went back to my room and waited. Ten minutes went by and they still weren't done. Twenty minutes and no sign of finishing up. It wasn't until the half hour mark that I began to suspect foul play. Just then, a stroke of realization was sent down from the Heavens as I recalled that I was in the shower, or at least, I was suppose to be in the shower. After all these years, I can still get me! My second birthday gift was a cold shower.

I went to work and ended up teaching a kindergarten. The children were no older than four or five and hardly spoke any English. But for what they lacked in intelligence they made up for in spirit. They were so damn cute. At the end of the class, they sang happy birthday to me and gave me a big hug. It is moments like these, group hugs from Children, that transcend cultural barriers and melt even the iciest of hearts like mine. The emotion began to well up until I noticed one of the little girls was drooling on my tie. Emotion subsided. Irony ensued. Now I can't wait until I am a college professor so none of my students will drool on me. Well, none of my sober students, that is.

The day ended and then it was time to PARTY. Because it was my night, I got to choose the destination. It was not hard- the Taiwan Beer Brewery that serves pints of frosty Taiwan Beer at NT$60 a mug, or $2.00 US if we're playing with real money. I was the first to arrive with a friend of mine, which meant we had time to order dinner and several rounds of this delicious beer. I ordered the smoked chicken. Chopped up in to small pieces, I was digging this dish, until I came across the head of the chicken smoked and thrown in with all the rest. I covered it with a piece of lettuce and continued with my meal.

Please know that we would not have been able to do this evening on our own because the menu was in Chinese. When we got there, and the waiter discovered we did not speak any Chinese, he called his good friend Jeffery over- age: forty-two, nationality: Taiwanese, role: customer- to translate the menu. We told Jeffery we were here celebrating my birthday at which point he insisted on buy me drinks. We accepted. Eventually the party grew to about ten people or so and everyone had their drinks snuggled nicely to their lips. Various other Westerners joined our table because that was where the party was. At about 11:00, Jeffery decided he wanted to order the entire table a round. Excellent. The waiter brought everybody a drink and set them on the table. Some were still finishing their other drink, so there was a back up of beer set upon us. About ten minutes later, I was just about finished with my beer when Jeffery decided that we needed another round. He ordered it, and then there were at least twenty or twenty-five full beers on the table. Jeffery turned to me and said, in the manner of Confusius or Laozi, "Michael, you must drink those beers... It is your destiny."

After the Taiwan Beer Garden, we went to another bar and met up with about five or six other people that couldn't make it to the Garden. There we feasted on the finest Western foods imaginable- potato skins, fries, nachos, and of course, more Taiwan beer. Gift number three- the best night I have had so far in Taiwan. Thanks guys.

From your twenty-something, birthday romping, pace-maker packing, wheel chair lacking (thank god), birthday boy of the beer garden, Michael.